• Cheryl Jones

How to Spot Your Partner's Hidden Personality Traits When Planning Your Vacation 

Updated: Aug 28, 2020

You get baited and hooked by sweet words and gentle ways, and suddenly your partner or spouse blurts out words that are hard to mince when he or she didn’t get a window seat on the plane! There seems to be some disorganization and no system in place whatsoever. But, to your surprise, they had better plans than you!

When one is placed in a situation that is outside of the normal sphere you go around in, you discover things that might pleasantly surprise you. Conversely, you spot appalling behaviors that may cast doubt on plans. And yes, vacation planning does reveal a lot about your partner’s manners, traits, and peculiarities. It’s in the little things that they say. Statements or reactions that you don’t usually pause and analyze.

The Checklist

Oh wait, this is not a relationship deal-breaker or anything like that. This is just a way for you to get hints and clues about your partner so you can do some adjusting and balancing later on for the benefit of your vacation together. And without saying anything, never show the results of your checklist for intervention later. Better yet, just do a mental list for safekeeping. So, here are some statements that may just go over your head but, upon closer look, speaks of someone’s nature.

Here we go:

Initiative versus Indifference:

Has initiative: “I saw the ticket prices on this site, maybe if we’ll check more, we can find better deals.”

Indifferent: “Eh, as long as I have the window seat, it doesn’t matter what airline.”

Openness versus conformity

Open: “I love your plan of matching sandals, but I am not really into stripes.”

Conformist: “Oh sure, whatever design you like, that’s fine with me.”

Thorough versus spontaneous

Thorough: “If that hotel has free breakfast, can you check if the coffee has unlimited refills?”

Spontaneous: “Yeah, free or not, we can just check if there’s a nearby convenience store.”

Considerate versus assertive:

Considerate: “I am not really into museums, but if I come with you, you could show me interesting stuff.”

Assertive: “Not going to happen. The art museum is off the list.”

Restrained versus imprudent

Restrained: “That spot is great, but let’s check if we’re within budget.”

Imprudent: “Oh sure, my cards are not maxed out yet. YOLO!”

Envious versus confident:

Envious: “Make sure we have a larger room than what Greg posted last month.”

Confident: “Yeah, we can stay at the same hotel. It’s the scenery that makes up for it. I’ll make sure of that.”

Narrow-minded versus tolerant:

Narrow-minded: “I get that it’s cheaper. I am not going to change the booking because then we’ll be doing it for all of our plans.”

Tolerant: “Yes, I hate stripes, but it does look good for your pictures that we have matching sandals.”

Baby steps

The best thing about a journey is that it serves as a discovery phase. You get bits and pieces that you use to get a better picture. And recognizing that no relationship is perfect, it’s the stuff you learn that will help you perceive, understand, and adjust.

Remember, you have not boarded the plane or the cruise yet. So spotting these might be the key to building a better and stronger bond as you walk on the beach or as you stare into the sunset.

Your next destination just became more exciting.

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